Dynamic Yet Consistent

…I guess the real question should be "Where have I been?"

The month of October has been a blur for the Kickerts. 

At the beginning of the month we took a quick trip to Colorado and Utah as a family.  It was the first real vacation Beth and I have taken since we went to DC back in 2005.  It was also Mikayla’s first flight (we used it as a bit of a test run for the 22 hour plane ride coming up for us in July).

We flew into Denver and spent the day at the Children’s Museum.  Later that day we walked around downtown and tracked down some ice cream.  The next day we visited a cool place called the Butterfly Pavilion and headed up to Fort Collins.  Once our "city trips" were done we headed to Rocky Mountain National Park and then the next day traveled to Moab Utah and hiked around Arches National Park.

Right after returning to Kentucky I got back in the car and took a "quick" trip up to Northern Wisconsin / Upper Peninsula of Michigan to visit with my parents who just moved there.  While we didn’t have much planned, we did visit the "mysterious" Paulding Lights and did quite a bit of paddling on the small lakes up there.

On top of all the travelling, we have been making some big personnel adjustments at work and I have been prepping for our annual charge conference at church.

It seems the month just started, but it is already over.  On Friday we will have our annual Halloween Bash and then we will moving into November.

It is crazy to think how quick months go by, especially since we only have 9 more until we leave the states for a decade or so.  C’est la vie.

Mikayla at the Children’s Museum

Beth and Mikayla at the Butterfly Pavilion

Foggy day at Dream lake in ROMO

Along the Trail Ridge Road in ROMO

At Delicate Arch in Arches NP

Paddling in the Sylvania Wilderness Area

Beth and I first began talking about a possible move to Africa nearly 3 years ago.  For over two years we have been looking to move to Swaziland in particular.  In July we visited with over 20 individuals and organizations to get a feel for where our place may be.  [If you want to look back at the journey so far, you can start here.]

After our trip this summer we felt very affirmed in our decision to move, but unsure of where we would end up.  Through careful discernment and lots of conversations, we were able to narrow it down to three locations.  All three seemed like viable options and all three were interested in the possibility of us joining them.  Although we might have had our leanings, we wanted to be sincerely open to whatever presented itself.

Eventually we found that one would probably not be possible financially and another didn’t have a position at the time that would fit our skill set.  So earlier this week, Beth and I were sitting on the couch and I said, "Well I guess that means we know where we will be working in Swaziland."  Beth answered, "Yup… I guess so."  And there it was… three years of research and discernment summed up in a 5 second conversation.  It was kind of anti-climactic, but at the same time very affirming; the decision was so clear it did not require any lengthy discussion, just a simple affirmation.

So now that you have read 3 (rambling) paragraphs, I am sure you are wondering what we have decided; so here you go:

As of July (tentatively) Beth, Mikayla and I will be moving to the lowveld of Swaziland Africa to work with Cabrini Ministries.  (You can read more about their work at their blog.)  I will help with strategic planning and development and Beth will help with education and psycho-social services.  There are still lots of details to work out, but we are very confident in our decision.

The amazing thing is that when we flew to Africa we had intentionally chosen not to meet with Cabrini.  You see part of what attracted us to Swaziland was the mountains and the temperate climate.  Cabrini has neither of those things; it is flat, dry, shrubby land and it gets hot—freakin’ hot—like 115 degrees hot.  We figured, if we had our choice, we would avoid that low lying area of the country.  However, people we met with kept encouraging us to check them out.  One gentleman at an NGO we met with told us point blank that we had to go there and that it would be a perfect fit for us.  So hesitantly we rearranged our plans and actually cancelled a planned trip to a game reserve to drive an hour out on dirt roads to visit this Catholic Mission in the "bush."

We met with Sister Diane, one of two Catholic nuns who works with Cabrini.  She showed us around (the whole community is only a few acres) and answered all of our questions.  She explained that what they were looking for was not a person to fill a job description, but people who could commit to their community and respond in love and compassion.

Even though it is a Catholic mission, it was obviously we had strong theological connections and that our view of ministry was very similar.  It was also obvious that St Phillips (where the ministry is located) would be an ideal place to be immersed in Swazi culture.  (You see, a vast majority of Swazis live on rural homesteads, yet most of the places Beth and I visited were in urban/suburban areas.)  Our hesitations mainly lay in the remote location and the weather – both things we are confident should come secondary to finding a location where we can actively contribute to a vibrant community doing good work.

When we returned to the States we stayed in contact with sisters and they told us they would discuss the practicalities of us working with them and get back to us in October.  One week later they wrote us with an informal job offer.  A few weeks after that we spent over an hour on the phone talking about what things might look like if we joined them.  Today I called them and let them know we would be accepting their offer.  We all are very excited and fit seems very natural. 

Overall the whole process has been incredible.  Over the course of the last several years, we have researched well over 100 possible locations in Swaziland where Beth and I could relocate with Mikayla.  Of those we felt 20 were places where we could reasonably contribute and be happy.  Even though many of these stood as strong possibilities, only three made our final list.  At the end, our choice of the one was undoubtedly the best fit for us as a family.  It is a place where we can be a part of good work that is already going on and contribute in ways that are meaningful and needed.  It has been quite the journey, but as I write this post I am completely confident in our decision.

We will post more as it develops, but I wanted to take the time to let you all know at least the basics of what our future holds.

Cheers,

-Ben, Beth and Mikayla

Here is a video of Mikayla being entertained by my slight of hand magic tricks.

She figures out early on that moving my hand makes a difference, but it takes her a bit to figure out exactly what is going on.

We have been back from Swaziland Africa for about a week.  It feels like we are living between worlds as we look to transition from a comfortable life in the States to the unexpected.  After two weeks on the ground researching options, Beth and I are absolutely confident we will be making the move in the next year (but we are still working out the specifics).

It is great to be back in Bowling Green and even better to be able to hold my daughter again.  That being said, every time I snuggle with her I am hit with a wave of emotion.  We are so lucky to have such a beautiful, well-behaved daughter; but at the same time, she is very lucky to have us.  I don’t say that because I think we are exceptional parents, but because in our time our Swaziland we met so many kids who aren’t as fortunate.

In Swaziland, a country of about a million people, there are an estimated 100,000 orphans and over 15,000 child-headed homes.  My mind cannot even comprehend that.  Most of them lost their parents due to HIV/AIDS, a disease that currently infects up to 40% of the population.  40% – again, my mind can’t even comprehend that and we even saw it with our own eyes.

An entire generation has been laid to waste by a horrible disease; the current life expectancy lies around 30 years of age and the was just recognized as having the highest death rate in the world.  For the most part grandparents (gogos) have stepped up to provide the care, but now many of those are dying of old age.  Thinking about what the next decade will look like for the country is like looking into a blackhole (UN estimates the Swazis could be wiped out as a people group by 2050 if things don’t change).

The point of this blog is not to just give grim statistics, but to share a bit about what I am feeling (and if you know me, I am not a very emotional person and rarely share things like this).

Knowing the situation has made me realize my love for Mikayla all the more.  Last night, before she went to bed, Beth and I gave her a group hug and she beamed up at us.  It was so cute but it made me ache for those who will never experience the safe embrace of two parents.  Every time she lays her head on my shoulder I have to fight back tears over those who cannot rest peacefully.  Today she got her shots and I was overwhelmed with emotion at thinking how fortunate she was to not only have access to medical care, but also to have someone to comfort her when she hurt.

When Mikayla was first born, I felt many of these same things but as time has gone on, those feelings have faded – until now.  What is worst is that I have no idea what to do.  I don’t know what the answer is.  In moving to Swaziland we can help some, but in the face of the current situation there, I still realize it is just a drop in the bucket.

Even though it hurts, I can’t say I desire the feelings of sadness to go away.  I want to live life conscious of the way things are and hopefully in doing so find the strength and ability to be a part of the healing process.

[Homes in Bulembu, some of which have been renovated for Orphan Care]

Happy Mother’s Day to my mothers and grandmothers.  Thank you for who you are and what you do.

A few days ago while reflecting on my daughter’s first birthday I wrote about things that at one time described me, but no longer apply.  I wanted to flip that around and identify the things I have recently become.  The last five years have been particularly transitional (and our future plans will only serve to continue that).

Just like the last list, these descriptors are varied.  Some are the result of philosophical/theological shifts, some reflect major life transitions, and others have slowly developed based on changing life circumstances.

Here are things that I have become:

• A gardener
• A grant-writer
• A pacifist
• A stay-at-home dad
• A distiller
• A father
• Less goals-oriented
• A master of biblical studies (I even have a degree that says so)
• A polyglot (although my skills are fading)
• More progressive
• More free
• A whiskey expert
• A better cook
• Theologically liberal
• Post-modern
• A blogger
• Balding
• More appreciative of fine food and drink
• Domesticated
• Completely intolerant… of racism and bigotry
• More aware of my flaws

With my daughter turning 1 tomorrow, I have been mulling over ways my life has changed recently.  It got me thinking about the things that at some point in my life served to define me, but no longer apply.  Some of these represent transitions in life, others reflect philosophical shifts, and others are simply changes (formal and informal) brought about by time.  Some of these I lament and others I am glad to have shed.

Here is a list (in no particular order) of things I no longer am:

• A student
• A firefighter
• Single
• A Saturday-morning-sleeper-inner
• An evangelical
• A minister
• 165 pounds
• 205 pounds
• A bicycle mechanic
• A full-time employee
• An abstainer (I am married after all)
• A San Fransico 49ers fan
• A beleiver in a literal hell
• A regular backpacker / mountain biker / rock climber
• A person with a full head of hair
• Anti-cell phone
• Motivated by upward mobility
• Childless
• A night owl
• Oblivious to world news
• A critic of homosexual Christians
• Ignorant to fine wines and spirits
• A fiction reader

Sunday was the perfect day to be outside.  The sky was deep blue, the temperature was just right and the trees and wildflowers were in bloom.  We decided to take advantage of it by hiking in Mammoth Cave with the whole family (dog included).

We wanted to stay away from the touristy areas since it was such a beautiful spring weekend so we decided to hike in the west side of the park to Mammoth Cave’s largest above ground body of water: First Creek Lake.    The route we chose began at the Temple Hill trailhead and then included the loop around the lake before heading out the way we came.  Since we were hiking with our 1 year old, we thought it would be a bit much to attempt the longer route coming in from from the First Creek trailhead, plus this gave us a few options if we needed an even shorter trip.

We came in through the Brownsville entrance and took the Houchins Ferry across the Green River (Check here for ferry hours).  The road is gravel and well maintained.  There is parking at the trailhead, but it is not well laid out

Beth and Mikayla at the Trail Head

The hike begins with a 1.9 mile segment that follows the ridge heading down to the Nolin River [NOTE: This trail has been recently rerouted.  Old topo maps do not reflect the change.  See links below.] The trail is well maintained, and even though horses are allowed on this section, degradation is minimal.  Overall the slope is moderate, but there are two sections that are relatively steep as you drop down off the ridge and then down onto the flood plain.  The trail provides good views of the river valley.

Beth looking across the valley before dropping down the ridge

Looking down towards the Nolin River

Once you reach the base of the lake, you can choose which route to take.  The left (west) option is shorter (for through hikers) and flatter.  It passes campsite #1 and a spur trail down to Nolin Lake.  The right option follows the base of the ridge, passes campsite #2 and crosses the two creeks which feed the lake.  If you do the entire loop it is 1.3 miles.  The longer option (ridge route) is 1.0 miles to the junction while the shorter option is 0.3 miles.  We took the left (west) segment first so if we needed to double back to shorten things we could.

Overall we were a bit disappointed with the destination.  Despite spring rains, the lake was quite low and marshy.  Even then, it was only visible for about 10% of the loop.  The spur trail to the river was narrow as it followed a deep muddy trench where the lake drains.  Once at the river, the options were minimal.  There is little shade and even less flat ground.  There is a fire pit near the river, but when we got there it was filled with trash.

View of First Creek “Lake” from campsite #2

We continued on the short leg of the loop hoping to find another option for eating lunch along the river, but didn’t find anything.  Compared with the trail down, the loop is in much worse condition showing many muddy sections which have been chewed up by horse tracks.  The longer segment of the loop is much worse with several extended sections of muddy pot holes.  In relation to the whole trail, 90% was in great condition; but, the remaining 10% could be very unpleasant.

One of the not-so-good sections

Despite the mud on the trail, the creek beds along the longer segment were quite dry.  Although, based on the debris, it was apparent there could be significant flow at times,

We ended up stopping for lunch just off the trail.  We found a shady spot on the dried northeast section of the lake bed.  At the time it was very pleasant, but I could imagine the bugs would be quite annoying later in the season.

Lunch along the trail

Campsite #2 is just a few hundred feet from the south trail junction.  It my opinion, it is the better of the two sites.  It does not have the easy access to the river, but it does have a better view of the lake and seems to be more secluded.

On the way back out we noticed the blooming wildflowers much more (that is probably because we were going much slower as we hiked up instead of down).  There were plenty of may apples already sprouting up and several other flowers poking through last year’s leaves.

Plants and flowers along the way

Overall we had a great time and enjoyed the hike but I would not consider the lake to be a destination in and of itself.  It was not a difficult hike, but it was not super easy either.  You don’t have to be in great shape to do it, but you wouldn’t want to take a small child and expect them to walk it all on their own.  It took us about 3 hours to complete the trip at a leisurely pace.  While I have not hiked it, I have heard the north section of the First Creek trail is pretty tore up from the horse traffic.  Something to consider if you are planning a trip of your own.

At a Glance:

Mammoth Cave – First Creek Lake
Type: Point-to-point with loop
Length: 5.1 miles
Rating: Enjoyable
Difficulty: Moderate

Date: April 10, 2010
Weather: 77 and sunny
Duration: 3 hours

Helpful Links:

• Mammoth Cave National Park – official website
• Mammoth Cave Trail Map
• Topo Map – Click on “MyTopo” option.  [NOTE: This map shows the old route, please refer to map above for route planning]
• Trails.com review – requires subscription for detailed information
• Ferry Information

These are actually Mikayla’s second steps. She stumbled once on her own, then we stood her up and she took 3-4 steps. Beth and I went nuts. We were able to catch her second attempt on camera.

If you look closely on the left edge of the video you can see me jumping up and down in excitement.