Dynamic Yet Consistent

It has been a little while since I have written about our Swaziland plans.  Lucky for you we have some news to share.

We just renewed our passports and purchased our tickets for our summer exploration trip (let’s hope that is $3,600 well spent).  We will be flying out of Nashville on July 12 and returning on July 26.  Since the flight is over 20 hours (with a stop off in the west African country of Senegal) that will shave a day off our trip each way giving us 11 or so days to explore the country.

Our goal for this trip to get a good feel for the country, and meet with as many people/groups/organizations as possible in preparation for a move to the Kingdom in 2011 (You can read more details about our plans to move to Swaziland here, here and here.)  Right now we are hoping to find an organization we can work with for our first six months.  That way we can have some stability when we move, but are not having to commit ourselves for multiple years without being very familiar with the specifics.

So far we have made contact with 4-5 people on the ground.  We are hoping to follow up on several leads with strong potential and then leave enough time open during our trip so that we can discover other connections we had not planned on.  I have a feeling we will be playing a lot of this trip by ear.

One thing we have found is that it is much easier to get a hold of the Western Christian organizations than it is to contact the local and secular organizations.  Unfortunately we are also finding most of the Christian groups are a bit too evangelical and charismatic for our comfort.  We are open to working with Christian groups, but we want our focus to be on indigenous solutions and community development, not proselytizing.  In many ways Beth and I feel like we would do better with a “regular” job where we can live out our faith a part of it.  Our main focus in moving to Swaziland is to expose Mikayla (and ourselves) to life outside the United States so our worldview can be informed and shaped in a global context.  Of course we want to be apart of something good and make an impact where ever we are, but that is not our primary goal.

Of other Swazi news, Beth and I have been working on our siSwati, but I must admit we are not as dedicated as we should be–we are still working on the standard greetings and responses.  Hopefully by July we will have the basics down and then can spend the next year mastering it.

That’s the update for now.  I will let you know more as it develops.

I am not a very sentimental person and rarely get caught up in traditions or holidays, but today represents a significant day of remembrance as we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  This man was so influential in my life and my understanding of the world that we named our daughter after him (Mikayla Lillian Kickert).  It was an honor this morning to march along side my brothers and sisters and to have my daughter join us.  Here is a picture of me and little MLK from this morning and a shot from the march:

If you haven’t already done it, please take the time to listen to MLK’s prophetic “I have a dream” speech.  I still cannot listen to it without tearing up.  I have included it below for your convenience

Finally, I want to share with you a prayer that I wrote several years ago to commemorate the day.  The following is an invocation written in 2008 for the annual MLK remembrance service in Bowling Green.  It is inspired by the UMC Book of Worship prayer for such occasion.

God of all creation, we stand together today and acknowledge your presence among us as we seek to be your people united in love.  As we worship today, we pray that you grant us a glimpse of your Kingdom. A kingdom where everything is made new and all nations walk together in the light of your Glory.

We thank you for your servant Martin Luther King Jr. who lived out the principles of your kingdom, and through his prophetic voice, offered the vision of what could be.  May we be challenged by his courage, emboldened by his passion, and inspired by his actions.  But heavenly father, may we not rest of the laurels of his godly work, but instead strive together to bring deeper love and greater unity as we all seek to live out your calling on our lives.  May we, even today, experience the same divine discontent that spurred Dr. King to be a voice for justice and an advocate for love.

Today we remember the conviction of Dr. King, who said:

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

Therefore, let us pray for courage and determination for those who are oppressed.  And at the same time, may we not be blind to the oppression we bring, nor deaf to the voices crying against it.
Today we remember Dr. King’s words that

True peace is not the absence of tension, but the presence of justice.

Therefore let us pray not only for relief from tensions and conflicts, but for a just and compassionate world.  May those who work for peace in our world be those crying loudest for justice and may we find peace not in the comforts of life, but in the tension that comes from standing in the gap.
Today we remember Dr. King’s insight that:

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, because we are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny,

Therefore, let us pray that we may see nothing in isolation, but instead find ourselves unified in love and perfected in peace.  May we rejoice with those rejoicing, and mourn with those morning.  And today father, may we join the struggles of those bothers and sisters throughout the world who are striving for peace and justice.
Today we remember Dr King’s lament that:

The contemporary church is often a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound, often the arch-supporter of the status quo. 

Therefore, let us pray that neither those gathered here today nor any congregation of Christ’s people may be silent in the face of wrong, but that we may be disturbers of the status quo when it comes into conflict with God’s Kingdom.

Finally, we remember Dr. King’s prophetic words that:

The dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.

Therefore, in faith, let us contend against evil and make no peace with oppression so that we join in the legacy of Dr. Martin King Jr. and work together to fulfill the vision he shared of your Kingdom come. 

Lord, while we still hear jangling discords in our nations, may we be beautiful notes in the symphony of brotherhood. 

In the name of Jesus, the Prince of Peace we pray, Amen.

Yesterday I posted a recap of 2009 in pictures. But, as my friend Jason pointed out, it was not just the end of a year, but the end of a decade.  Here are 10 pictures, one from each year, to reflect on the first 10 years of the millennium.

[2000 – Senior Pictures]

[2001 – First year fighting fire]

[2002 – Beth visits Idaho]

[2003 – Engagement photo]

[2004 – Wedding Photo]

[2005 – Trip to DC]

[2006 – Posing at Jackson’s Orchard]

[2007 – Playing disc golf]

[2008 – Pregnancy progression pictures]

[2009 – Mikayla’s 1 week pictures]

A year ago I was a student at Asbury, working at Kaleidoscope, expecting my first child.  12 months later I am a stay-at-home dad with my MA working at a distillery.  Quite a bit has changed in 2009.  Here is a look back in pictures. [HT: Dave]

January -Stephenson Chapel

[Bowling with the Youth from Stephenson Chapel]

In January I continued my work with Kaleidoscope writing grants, but also began a stint as an interim pastor for Stephenson Chapel.  At first it was only supposed to be a few week fill-in gig, but it ended up lasting 6 months.  The folks at this rural church in Russellville were an amazing example of community and incarnate love.  They put up with my quirks and gave Beth and I amazing support.

February – Ice and Stitches

[Ice damage and damaged knee]

In late January a major snow storm hit the Bluegrass.  Along with many other people I spent several days running a chainsaw helping with the cleanup.  Most of my time was out at Camp Loucon, a Methodist camp and retreat center near Leitchfield KY.  On my third day in I was sawing a hanging limb and it kicked back in a weird way sending the chainsaw bar (the chain was not moving) into my leg.  I ended up with 24 stitches in my knee, but was sawing again within 3 hours.  Some people never learn.

March – Corsair

[Custom Still at Corsair]

Beginning in October of last year, I completed several distillery tours in the state.  They are always a fascinating mix of industry, craft and science.  The most interesting was Corsair Artisan, a micro-distillery that just opened in Bowling Green.  After several visits, in March the owners asked if I would be interested in helping them out on a few projects.  My role in the company gradually expanded and now I am the Distillery Manager and handle most of the daily operations.  It is a great mix of duties that keeps me on my toes and works with my schedule.

April – Birth of Mikayla

[Mikayla at 1 week]

Some months carry more weight than others.  Thus is the case for April 2009.  On the the 28th at 10:36am, our baby girl Mikayla Lillian Kickert was born.  She weighed in at 7,7 and was 20” long.  You can see more blog posts about her here.

May – Graduation

[Celebrating with the family in all my regalia]

After 3 years, $33,000 ($21,000 out of pocket), and over 3,000 hours of work I finally graduated with a Master of Arts in Biblical Studies from Asbury Seminary.  This time was certainly formative, but looking back at it I am not convinced I would do it again if given the choice.  It was simply too much of a sacrifice for what it yielded.  For me, graduation was more than just an achievement – it represented a transition to freedom.

June – Blogging / Time with Family

[G-ma Morgan meets Mikayla for the first time]

After graduating and ending my stint at Stephenson Chapel I discovered a void in my life.  I no longer had an obvious outlet for my creativity or an avenue to work through my thoughts.  In order to fix this I began blogging (technically I took blogging back up, but my previous attempts had never amounted to anything).  Also during this time Beth, Mikayla and I had the opportunity to spend a lot of quality time together and visit with family.  We basically had 2.5 months together and took full advantage of it.

July – Garden

[The garden at the height of the growing season]

While not specific to July, one of the highlights of the year was our garden.  This was the first year we moved it to our house and it was also one of the best crops we have had.  It was a great escape and the food we produced was excellent.  Here is an earlier post about our garden and one about lessons learned throughout the year.

August – Stay-at-home Dad

[Watching Mikayla while Cooking]

When Mikayla was born Beth and I decided it made sense for me to stay at home with her during the week.  In August, my “job” started in earnest.  I had never pictured myself as a stay-at-home dad, but I have really enjoyed being able to spend time with her and it means the whole family gets more quality time.  To be honest with you, sometimes I wonder what Beth was thinking when she trusted me to not do anything stupid with Mikayla.  So far so good… for the most part.

September – Grandfather

[Grandma and Grandpa with Mikayla]

Some transitions are harder than others.  One of the tough ones for 2009 was the passing of my grandfather.  In his life he had overcome many illnesses and obstacles, but his last few months were filled with pain and everyone knew in September it was his time to go.  I wrote some of my thought about the transition of life here.

October – Long Term Relationships

[Kickerts and Altmaiers at Abrham’s Falls]

It is amazing how fast time goes by.  In October, Beth and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary.  A few months earlier we had celebrated 10 years together (dating+marriage).  Even though it sounds trite to say, I could not imagine my life without her.  That same month we spent a great weekend with old friends (Dave and I go back to Ms. Fitzgerald’s first grade class).  For Beth and I, Dave and Catherine are the type of friends that you can jump right back in with even after several months apart and never feel like you missed a beat.

November – Camry

[The Culprit]

November represents one of the most frustrating months of 2009.  A few months earlier the engine in Beth’s Camry blew (read about it here).  After a month of trying to figure out if was worth fixing, we finally bought a used engine to install.  Long story short, the engine was bad, we hit a bunch more hurdles, we have spent 3x the amount we planned on spending and as of the first week of January we still don’t have a car.  Ughh…

December – Christmas

[PJs, Hot Cocoa, and Pictures]

Since this was Mikayla’s first Christmas we made sure we spent part of Christmas day at our home together.  We were able to initiate some family traditions of our own (Beth has a great post about it).  One of the things we did was get dressed up in our pajamas (I had to buy some), make hot cocoa and take fun family pictures together.

—

Overall 2009 did not turn out the way I would have expected it to, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than where I am right now.

Beth and I have known for a while that we need to have the house “baby-proofed.”  We are also chronic procrastinators which of course means we wait until things are immediate needs and not just distant threats.  Well Mikayla is on the move now and we have had to follow through.  Just take a look:

We can no longer sit her in the middle of the room and expect her to be there when we get back.  Not only can she crawl across the house in a matter of seconds, she has always been inquisitive and her new mobility has only served to heighten this.  Now we keep small items off the floor, our electrical cords are (usually) put away and we have a baby gate we can put up when we need it.

Of course the epitome of baby-proofing gear is the outlet plug.  We bought several packs and dutifully installed them throughout the house.  As you can see below, that sure did us a lot of good:

From install to defeat it is less than 10 seconds.  If you take it down to the frame-by-frame analysis you will find Mikayla has an impressive removal time of less than 2 seconds.  Unbelievable!

However you look at it, I can’t help but think this reveals some traits my daughter has picked up from me.  She is curious about how things work; she likes to live dangerously; and unfortunately she knows what she isn’t supposed to do yet she still wants to do it.

Hopefully she will pick up some of my good habits as well!

I think I have the most beautiful daughter in the world.  Just check out this picture from Halloween:

Every chance I get, I tell her she is beautiful.  Beth and I constantly ask ourselves, “Honestly, could she get any cuter?”  I feel like we were playing Russian Roulette with my looks being in the gene pool, and luckily she turned out pretty good looking (if in 10 years she has a uni-brow and a beard, you know who to blame).

But I will be honest with you, sometimes I worry about her being so beautiful.  Will she grow up and be vain?  Will she have difficulty understanding inner beauty because she always possessed outer beauty?  If (when) her outer beauty fades, will she allow it to bother her?

I ask these questions but at the end of the day I don’t really worry about them.  That’s because Mikayla has an amazing personality for a baby. She is content and inquisitive.  She would rather smile than cry.  She enjoys company and can play alone.

In fact, instead of worrying about her, I have found she has many things she can teach me.

• The joy of discovery – I am going to take credit for her constant fascination with everything around her.  I am pretty sure she gets spirit of inquiry from me.  However, whereas I usually approach things with a great deal of skepticism, Mikayla also approaches new things with joy and wonder.  She is excited about every new thing…. even when it turns out she does not like it (like with avocados).  Sometimes my own questioning brings about negativity.  I wish I were more like Mikayla and could find joy in every question and discovery.
• Approach everything with a smile – Mikayla’s first response to a situation is to smile.  It doesn’t matter if it is her mother reaching for her, or someone she has never met.  She is always happy to see you.  This is even true of things that might threaten her.  Our dog sometimes get skitish when Mikayla is on the floor.  Sometimes Shiloh will bark at her.  Still though, she smiles and laughs and loves.  If only I were so accepting.
• Explore your possibilities, but be content where you are – Mikayla is usually very happy where ever she is, whether it in her crib, on the floor, in someone’s arms, or in her car seat.  At the same time though, she is always looking around and exploring every nook and cranny.  However, she does not allow that inquiry to make her discontent.  She wants to know what’s on the other side of the crib, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy it there.  Mikayla uses the discovery process to better understand her current situation – not simply to try and replace it.  I wish I could have such an attitude.
• Let people know when you are hurting and how they can help – Beth and I have learned Mikayla’s various cries.  She lets us know when she is hungry or tired or has gas or when she just wants to be held.  She is able to tell us how we can help her.   Looking at myself, that is something I need to do better.  Even when I know I am hurting, it is rare for me to let people into my world so they can know how they can help me.

There is plenty we can learn from babies.  Unfortunately instead of letting them teach us, we all to often try to make them see things our way.  I hope in the years to come I can be a loving and effective teacher for my beautiful daughter, but more importantly, I hope I can always be her student and let her constantly teach me.

Every new parent comments on how quick their baby grows up.  It is true.  In 6 months Mikayla has doubled in size and transformed from being a fully dependant infant who couldn’t even keep her head up, to being an inquisitive, alert baby who now eats solid foods and always seems to be in a good mood.

Along the way we have taken a few pictures of her with a stuffed giraffe so we could better appreciate her transformation. (Beth has some earlier shots here.)  Here is where we have come from and where we are:

 

In addition to the giraffe pictures, we have our good friend Dallas Gillaim take some 6-month shots of Mikayla up on the hill at WKU.  If you will remember, he also took Mikayla’s newborn pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beth and I have been married for 5 years and for those most part, we have been conflict free. That has all changed in the last month. I know I should not air out our dirty laundry for the whole blogosphere, but I have to get this off my chest.

Ever since the weather has gotten colder, Beth has been on this baby leg warmer kick. We probably have 10 pairs either in the house or on order. I think they are hideous (Think 1980’s aerobics outfits meet grandpa’s sock drawer). Have a look for yourself. Beth has written a blog post about how much she loves these leg warmers. Here is a picture of our daughter wearing them:

Here is the rub… I am not against the “idea” of these infant accessories — in fact, I think they are brilliant. You can keep your baby’s legs warm without having to deal with an extra pair of pants when changing diapers. You can keep them in the damper bag and always have an option if it gets cold. The problem is they are so gosh-darn ugly. No self-respecting father is going to put pink argyle leg warmers on his baby and take her out into public.

Rather than try to convince Beth to lay off purchasing these things (Hey, at least she only buys $7 knit tubes and not $7,000 jewelery — I can live with that), I have decided to advocate for the perfect pair. Something that is functional and not floundering in fashion faux pas. Here is what I want to see. I want a pair of black leg warmers made out of water-proof soft-shell material and complete with adjustable elastic bands. That way it will super-warm; it will match (most) every outfit; they will stay up on little Mikayla; and best of all, if (when) she spits up on them, you don’t have to replace them, you only have to wash them off. Now that is a pair of leg warmers I could get behind.

Until we find a pair like that, I guess Beth and I will just have to continue butting heads. I think we will make it through it. 🙂

My vivid dreaming and pleasant slumber is interrupted by the sound of frantic crying heard through the tinny speakers of the baby monitor.  I am jolted to consciousness as I suddenly realize my setting and that my daughter is obviously in need of parental comforting.

“What time is it?” I ask my still-groggy wife with a nervous urgency revealing the high stakes that rest on the answer. Early in Mikayla’s life I asked that question because I was sleep deprived and had no sense of time and needed to get my bearings.  Later, I asked so that I could gauge how long she was sleeping and how close she was to the magic destination of “sleeping through the night.”  Now I ask knowing there is a lot more riding on the answer.

You see Beth and I play a game called Late-night Baby Russian Roulette.  In order to share the burden caused by nighttime feedings, dirty diapers and Mikayla’s recent bout with evening gassiness, we have developed a system.  Any crying before 1:30am I have to deal to with (since she is probably not hungry) and anything after 1:30 Beth deals with.  (Somehow I also ended up with post-feeding post-1:30 crying as well).  So now when I ask what time it is, I know the answer can either catapult me out of the warm cocoon of my bed or give me permission to, in good conscious, put the pillow over my head to drown out the sobs as I drift back to sleep.  You never know which is in the chamber when the baby monitor goes off.

“What time is it?”

BANG – 1:10am

Dang…. I’m hit…. and you get a blog post.

Last night Beth and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary.  We treated ourselves to a progressive meal downtown with dinner at the Bistro, coffee at Spencer’s and a galaxy pie at Mariah’s.  We walked around the square and ran into old friends.  But mostly, we just enjoyed being with each other.  It was great to get out of the house together (My brother and his wife watched Mikayla while we were out) but we both agreed, we have just as much fun sitting at house together watching old Law and Order SVU episodes while playing games.

I think that is what makes our relationship different… and special… and so meaningful.  We find our enjoyment together in just being.  We don’t have to be doing things, or going places, we take pleasure where ever we are and whatever we are doing.  Some people’s relationships are defined by their activities, or by their mutual friends, or by their “accomplishments.”  I feel our relationship defines those things for us rather than those things defining our relationship.  I feel like we could lose all our possessions and connections and we would still be who we are and our relationship would never skip a beat.

I cannot conceive what my life would be like without Beth.  We have been together through every major decision of life: everything from choosing colleges to raising children.  We have both said how unbelievable it is that we have been married for 5 years (and dating for over 10).  But at the same time, I can’t remember what it was like before, nor imagine life the next 5, 10, 50 years without her.