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Mikayla and the Thug Life

July 2nd, 2009 3 comments
Mikayla showing off her tats

Mikayla showing off her tats

If Mikayla only had a father, these “tattoos” would have been done in sharpie; but since she has a rational mother as well, photoshop will suffice.

Now, before you bash me as a bad father who is projecting negative images on innocent Mikayla, let me explain my thoughts behind this image and then perhaps I can redeem myself.

You see, Mikayla will sometimes “box” with her little hands and punch at the air.  Occasionally she will pause with her clenched fists extended.  This reminded me of the knuckle tattoos that my white, middle-class, suburban friends would draw in middle school as they mimicked what they thought were signs of street life (which the knew nothing about).  My simple mind found humor (crude as it may be) in the juxtaposition between innocence and raw street life.  (Just so you know, I am not the only one who thinks this way. See here, here and here.)

The phrase “Thug Life” started with Tupac Shakur, a New York rapper who was killed in the mid-nineties.  It is often assumed that Thug Life refers gang activity, drugs and crime; however this was never the image that Tupac intended.  Urban Dictionary defines it as such:

Thug life is when you have nothing, and succeed, when you have overcome all obstacles to reach your aim.

If you dig deeper into the phrase, you will actually find it is quite appropriate to consider it along side the image of a newborn as it is supposedly based on an acronym for “The Hate U Give Little Infants F#@&s Everyone.”  Another Urban Dictionary definition explains this concepts by saying:

T.H.U.G.  L.I.F.E.  stands for all the socially oppressive things we are taught at a young age that negatively affects us (or society) as adults.

The focus then is on the environments that breed hate, distrust, corruption and pain.  Thug Life is about overcoming your environment and breaking the cycle in order to achieve your dreams.

Now back to Mikayla’s tats.  The irony is deeper that simply an infant with tattoos commonly seen on the streets.  The irony is that Mikayla will probably never experience the pain and struggles that led Tupac to conceive of the idea of the Thug Life.  Mikayla has a life ahead of her with two parents that love her dearly and are willing to sacrifice immensely for her success.  She will grow up (most of her life) in the richest country in the world and be given the opportunity to attain the best education possible.  She will be given cultural opportunities that expand her horizons and challenge her worldview.  She will be raised by open minded parents who seek a just world with diversity and tolerance.

Mikayla will never have to come home to an empty house as an elementary student, or see her parents shoot up, or need to know that you need to duck when you hear gun shots.  She will not be forced to move every 3 months to avoid paying rent, or be shuffled in foster care.  She will never have to worry about where her next meal will come from, or where she will sleep.  On the international stage, Mikayla will never have to fear being abducted and forced to be a child solider, or of dying of preventable diseases.  She will never have to rely on the UN to take care of her along with millions others in a refuge camp.

Mikayla will never experience the Thug Life.

But even that has been a painful truth for me to grapple with.  Why is our daughter so special?  What has she done to deserve it?  While I would argue I have a very special daughter, the truth is her advantages come simply because she was born to us.  There is nothing she did to earn it.  At the same time, those that are not so lucky are just as innocent as Mikayla.  They don’t deserve the pain and suffering they will go through.

Realizing my love for my daughter has caused me to hurt so much more for those who do not experience this same love.  It has awaken me afresh to the injustices of this world and caused me to lament deeply the suffering of the innocent.  In fact, is has brought me to tears.

These thoughts have been plaguing me for some time.  The second week of Mikayla’s life I wrote this:

My love for my daughter causes me to hurt even deeper for the unloved. Love brings about pain; how do we ensure the opposite is true as well.

I am not hopeful I will ever figure it out, but it is not my desire to no longer feel the pain of this tension.  Instead, I want to be constantly reminded of the blessings I have been given and extend to Mikayla and likewise discontent with the unearned and undeserved pain and tragedy others inherent.  May the pain injustice bring about healing, peace and love.  May the day come when no one experiences the Thug Life.

*Just so you know, I really would not have put sharpie tattoos on my 2 month old daughter… but I did think about it 😉