Dynamic Yet Consistent

I think I have the most beautiful daughter in the world.  Just check out this picture from Halloween:

Every chance I get, I tell her she is beautiful.  Beth and I constantly ask ourselves, “Honestly, could she get any cuter?”  I feel like we were playing Russian Roulette with my looks being in the gene pool, and luckily she turned out pretty good looking (if in 10 years she has a uni-brow and a beard, you know who to blame).

But I will be honest with you, sometimes I worry about her being so beautiful.  Will she grow up and be vain?  Will she have difficulty understanding inner beauty because she always possessed outer beauty?  If (when) her outer beauty fades, will she allow it to bother her?

I ask these questions but at the end of the day I don’t really worry about them.  That’s because Mikayla has an amazing personality for a baby. She is content and inquisitive.  She would rather smile than cry.  She enjoys company and can play alone.

In fact, instead of worrying about her, I have found she has many things she can teach me.

• The joy of discovery – I am going to take credit for her constant fascination with everything around her.  I am pretty sure she gets spirit of inquiry from me.  However, whereas I usually approach things with a great deal of skepticism, Mikayla also approaches new things with joy and wonder.  She is excited about every new thing…. even when it turns out she does not like it (like with avocados).  Sometimes my own questioning brings about negativity.  I wish I were more like Mikayla and could find joy in every question and discovery.
• Approach everything with a smile – Mikayla’s first response to a situation is to smile.  It doesn’t matter if it is her mother reaching for her, or someone she has never met.  She is always happy to see you.  This is even true of things that might threaten her.  Our dog sometimes get skitish when Mikayla is on the floor.  Sometimes Shiloh will bark at her.  Still though, she smiles and laughs and loves.  If only I were so accepting.
• Explore your possibilities, but be content where you are – Mikayla is usually very happy where ever she is, whether it in her crib, on the floor, in someone’s arms, or in her car seat.  At the same time though, she is always looking around and exploring every nook and cranny.  However, she does not allow that inquiry to make her discontent.  She wants to know what’s on the other side of the crib, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy it there.  Mikayla uses the discovery process to better understand her current situation – not simply to try and replace it.  I wish I could have such an attitude.
• Let people know when you are hurting and how they can help – Beth and I have learned Mikayla’s various cries.  She lets us know when she is hungry or tired or has gas or when she just wants to be held.  She is able to tell us how we can help her.   Looking at myself, that is something I need to do better.  Even when I know I am hurting, it is rare for me to let people into my world so they can know how they can help me.

There is plenty we can learn from babies.  Unfortunately instead of letting them teach us, we all to often try to make them see things our way.  I hope in the years to come I can be a loving and effective teacher for my beautiful daughter, but more importantly, I hope I can always be her student and let her constantly teach me.

As August rolls on, more and more rows in our summer garden come to their end.  Just yesterday the last of our sweet corn was harvested and the stalks cut down.  While the okra is still going strong, the tomatoes are reaching the end of their production, the zucchini is winding down (never really produced too well — too wet), the basil needs to be cut, and the only peppers left are the jalapenos.  The asparagus is growing up and hopefully will be ready to harvest next spring.  So far we have been able to track our gardening season along with Mikayla’s life — we planted most of the crops 2 days before she was born.  It seems like just yesterday the crops were first coming in and Mikayla was  beginning to sleep through the night.  We have come a long way.

Now that our third year of gardening is wrapping up, it is a good chance to look back on this year (and the others) and make note of the lessons learned.  Here is what I have learned from our mistakes, and accidental successes:

• Each year we have started in a new location.  Every other year we have struggled with weeds, but this year we beat them early on.  We tilled in early April, then covered it with black plastic for two weeks to kill the grass.  When we pulled the plastic we tilled again and never had a major week problem.
• It takes at least 4 dry days before you can till a garden.  Be on the look out starting in mid-march because there are only a few good opportunities.
• When it comes to planting, while the average last freeze is April 20th around here, there is nothing wrong with planting into mid-May.
• Get your transplants at the school greenhouses or the farmer’s market — they are exponentially cheaper.
• Plant less squash and zucchini than you think you need, but more broccoli.
• Don’t forget how freakin’ tall okra gets.
• If you want a steady stream of corn, plant it in stages separated by about 2 weeks.  You can plant as late as June if you are willing to water.
• If working with stage-planted corn, or small batches, you really need to pollinate by hand.  Cut a tassel or two off every other day or so and rub it on the silks.
• It is better to harvest corn too early than too late
• After the corn reaches 2′ you can stop weeding, but make sure you weed the first few weeks or it will affect the production.
• Planting two tomato plants per cage doesn’t produce any more.
• Bucket tomatoes (hung upside down) do in fact produce, but not nearly as much (25% or less) of a regular planting.
• Don’t underestimate the weight of a tomato plant — use a cage and a tobacco stick or rebar to support it.
• Broccoli gets bitter after the first cutting or two.
• Okra can grow off the main stalk, so be sure to look carefully.
• It is easier to weed every other day or so than to let things go for a week or more and try to catch up.
• Asparagus takes a year to produce
• You have to plant garlic the autumn before, so plan ahead — we have missed our opportunity each year.
• It is a great experience to do community gardens, but it is less stressful to be able to walk out into your backyard to harvest or weed.

So what about you, what have you learned in your time gardening?